The Glow Within: Seeking Intention of Heart in a Weary World

Photo by Mike Labrum on Unsplash

Two minutes at the grocery store was the moment my heart leapt into the season of light this December. 

Tis the season! Or maybe not. Many of my friends have mentioned not feeling in the spirit of the season, and I felt a sadness and longing from them. Once a season of joy and hope, the shorter days and longer nights now felt empty and bleak. I wondered what was missing.

Perhaps we are experiencing feelings of loneliness and sorrow.

Perhaps we’ve forgotten how to connect with one another. 

We ache for independence—seek it as a source of strength and achievement. Indeed, it is a celebrated mark of accomplishment and a basic survival skill. And still, we need others. Yet we turn away from those who are lonely, sad, or depressed. The resulting feeling is shame and isolation after we’ve achieved our goal of independence. My motto for life is everything in moderation, and I believe our need for independence and connection is no different. I was curious, and I wanted to be a light in the darkness.

In the northern hemisphere, the season of light begins in autumn as the length of days dwindle and the nights linger.  The meaning of the season is different for each of us. For me, the season of light is an amplified opportunity to reach within and to shine love out to others with my whole heart. The last place I imagined I’d shine my glow of love was the grocery store.

— Find the Glow —

A Story of Connection in the Season of Light

It started with intention. I was weary of the feeling of isolation on each outing in public—eyes of the other person darting to the ground as I approached, no one muttering even a quiet, “Hello.” I called upon the love in my heart to break through the barrier. I decided to be different on this particular Monday while grocery shopping. Intentionally, I smiled at each person I walked towards in the store that morning. 

A sign of the times, I was wearing a mask. My heart glow (the love I felt within) had to be bright enough to be seen. I took a deep breath, smiling as I exhaled. In that exhale, I let my weariness go. I felt the compassion I held for myself while sensing loneliness and sorrow rising through my body so I might radiate compassion to others. I extended the glow from my heart to my eyes. Would anyone notice?

Indeed they did notice! I received many double glances when my gaze didn’t wander to the laminate flooring. I saw wrinkled, happy lines appear around many sets of eyes. I saw widened gazes of bemusement held for a brief measure of time. Some even nodded a genial gesture of hello. Connections were silently made.

Then, I dared hold the glow of my heart with a stranger who needed a spark of compassion more than I could imagine.  I made eye contact with the man bagging my groceries. It took but a second to make the connection and ask the rhetorical old question we’re accustomed to overlooking between each other, “How are you?”

I held my gaze, followed his eyes as they looked down. 

His brow appeared worn from thought, distant, moving through the motions of the day from someplace far away in his mind. Somehow he felt my gaze and glow, and his response surprised me:

“I miss my friend. I’m making her a book of memories. And when we meet again, we’ll share it together.” 

The gentleman could have answered with a colorless, “Good. Fine.” But my gaze was intentional, from the heart, and I think he sensed it. 

In that moment, the light exchanged between our hearts. From the glow of love for others in my heart, to the embers of his thoughts was the spark that brought meaningful human connection between two strangers. Perhaps the exchange momentarily eased his feelings of sorrow, pain, and loneliness. For me, reciprocity of the exchange widened my understanding for a fellow human being. We made a connection in our mutual moment of vulnerability.

As I listened to him tell his story, my eyes glowed with empathy through the tears. His eyes began to glisten as we held each other's gaze and he sensed my sincerity. I asked his friend’s name. I told him I knew she would love his book of memories, and that writing them was a wonderful way to stay connected to her.

As it turns out, this thoughtful gentleman had lost his friend in the horrific grocery store shooting in Boulder, Colorado earlier in the year. It was a heavy emotion he was processing in public while working. Vulnerability is difficult for many of us to share, especially when experiencing feelings of loneliness, sadness, and isolation. Certainly these feelings are as prevalent as the glow of joy, hope, and peace during the darkest days of the season of light, but they are often hidden away in the shadows. 

I could have tucked my tail, withdrawn my eyes, and put my glow away, muttering, “I’m sorry.” That would’ve been acceptable and likely expected. Instead, the two minutes we shared sparked an ember of compassion that will remain in my heart throughout the dark of winter. When I think of this gentleman, I will lift up my heart in love and radiate out feelings of peace and hope for him, his friend, her family, and our community. 

It was an unexpected exchange of sincere compassion that each of us needed. A human connection. As we closed our conversation, wishing each other a good day, we smiled—each of us glowing from the love abundant in our hearts.

— Daring to Connect —

The Gift of Love

Maybe striking up a conversation with a stranger at a grocery store isn’t within the measure of your heart's glow right now. Find what calls to your heart, and be brave enough to connect. Call out other’s strengths in little moments—give a compliment, or quietly offer a hand to someone in need of care or cheer.

The words and actions we exchange with others matter. Human connection helps people grow and connect with their feelings. It can ease burdens and stokes up the embers of wonder, curiosity, and the joy we seek. Practice words and acts of kindness on yourself so you may use your words and thoughtful deeds for good for yourself and for others.

You see, the gift is twofold—find your glow, your strength of character that betters the world, then share your gift of heart with others.

Our love and compassion begins within ourselves as we learn to accept our vulnerabilities as strengths and pathways to growth. As we strengthen our hearts, we are driven forward in growth and acceptance of others. Growth and acceptance sparks compassion that glows outward, lighting the way for others to light the way for themselves.

We give and we give of our time and our talents, often leaving us feeling depleted, weary, sad, or lonely. That is why we must love and accept ourselves first for all that we are, so we can see we are indeed not alone in our vulnerabilities. Someday you will be the one who receives the gift of someone else's strength when you least expect it.

This season of light, may you remember that the gifts of presence of mind and heart, rooted in love and human connection, are our greatest gifts to one another. These boundless gifts light up our world again and again. Even the littlest moments light up the cracks. If you’re struggling to feel the joy, hope, and peace this season, take a moment of intention for yourself and seek up your glow, including examining your feelings of sorrow. There is love rooted to sorrow. Dare to share it with others. I promise the gift of love will come to you.